Are you grateful every day for what you have, what you can do and where you are physically and emotionally? Are you aware of everyday things or just the big ones? Do you make time to acknowledge that you’re grateful for each of them?

Having gratitude is a way to transform your life and it’s one of the most powerful emotions.

We don’t always make the time to acknowledge what we’re thankful for except on Thanksgiving when we go around the dinner table and each person shares something they’re grateful for.

I think about people who are worse off than me when I see the athletes at Paralympic and Invictus games, people who have chronic pain or those with incurable cancer, children in other countries who can’t afford any education, homeless people and those with PTSD. I could go on and on.

Here’s an exercise that I do

I can’t remember where or when I learned the following technique but it works. And what it has done for me is that if something “huge” happens in my life, whether it is good (accomplishing a goal) or not (like my strokes), I’ve been able to look for something in each to be grateful for. I do it in bed just before I go to sleep at night. You can do the exercise by writing these things or thinking of them. You could keep a small recorder or your smartphone by your bed and that way you can remember your thoughts!

Every night when you’re going to sleep, close your eyes and think of things in your life that you feel grateful for. Don’t think of just your accomplishments but everyday things.

Let me start you with some of my own.

• trying something new and loving it
• having lunch with a friend (not just the lunch itself but also my anticipation of it)
• having a “zoom” coffee chat with an old friend or acquaintance
• finding a parking spot exactly where I need one (I always take my parking permit even though I can’t drive since the stroke and I give it to whoever’s driving J )
• the smell of coffee
• receiving a “just because” card in the mail or by email
• finding an article of “old and favourite” clothing that I can wear again (in my case a winter coat that I bought in the 90s. I hadn’t been wearing it because I didn’t think it fit – it did!)
• money to buy food (many people in the world go to bed hungry)

Here are some more that you can use. Over time you’ll create quite a long list for yourself.

• opening your eyes in the morning and being able to see a sunrise
• having an afternoon to do as you please.
• the first bite of a yummy breakfast.
• a facetime or skype chat with your child or grandchild.
• fitting into your fall wardrobe
• a book, a couch, a rainy day and a fireplace
• winning at Scrabble
• a new, ideal client.
• the sound of raindrops on the roof.
• growth in your business.
• a song that triggers happy memories.
• a strong mindset so you can bounce back from life’s hits (it’s called resilience)
• the privilege to be able to read.
• the right to vote.
• the smell of dinner – and an invitation to enjoy it with people you love.
• that the day is over as you crawl into bed and turn out the light

I’m grateful every day for the fact that it’s a new day full of possibilities. Aren’t you?

What are you grateful for?

I watched the movie called Letters to Juliet again recently. An aspiring American writer on vacation in Italy finds an unanswered “letter to Juliet”. It was one of thousands of missives left at the fictional lover’s Verona courtyard, which are typically answered by a group of women called the “secretaries of Juliet”. She answers one written 50 years before by an English woman played by Vanessa Redgrave. Vanessa’s character Claire along with her grandson come to Verona in answer to the reply that Sophie wrote. She and the young writer played by Amanda Seyfried go on a quest in the area around Verona to find Claire’s lover referenced in the letter. Spoiler alert — as a result, they find him and Claire marries him.)

At the end of the movie we’re at Claire and her lover Lorenzo’s wedding reception. Claire reads the letter that Sophie (Amanda Seyfried’s character) had written to her in which Sophie wrote the following:

“Dear Claire. What and if are two words as nonthreatening as words can be. But put them together, side by side, and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. What if? What if? What if? I don’t know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love then it’s never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn’t it be true now? You only need the courage to follow your heart. I don’t know what a love like Juliet’s feels like, a love to leave loved ones for, a love to cross oceans for, but I’d like to believe, if ever I were to feel it, that I’d have the courage to seize it. And Claire if you didn’t, I hope one day that you will. All my love, Juliet”

WOW … what a powerful expression “what if” is. What if … you had made a different choice in life –  what if you had/hadn’t married, what if you had chosen to divorce/ not divorce, what if you had/ hadn’t sold your house, what if you did/ didn’t start a business,  what if someone didn’t invent the light bulb, the telephone, television, personal computers, the internet, … the list goes on and on.

Choices

We make many choices every day that are small or big. Life is full of possibilities and choices and some of them can be overwhelming.

I faced a huge choice (dilemma) when I had the opportunity to go to San Francisco and work with an American friend to help him build and run a business. Was it too late in my life to do this? I was in my mid-40s and had always wanted to live in San Francisco. I had no children and no husband so it should have been an easy choice, right?

Wrong. I agonized over whether I should go or stay here in Toronto, made pro and con lists, asked friends and family and got different answers everywhere. What finally helped me choose to go was my answer to the question … “what if I don’t go and regret it for the rest of my life.”

The rest is history. I went there. As a result, it cost me financially to have two residences, two sets of furniture and two cars. But there would have been a lot of negatives which I would have faced even if I’d stayed here in Toronto.

The positives and benefits won out! While I was there I owned a red convertible, a sailboat, lived near the water, and travelled to many places in the U.S. I could have done many of them if I’d stayed in Toronto but more important than any of these was the experience of living somewhere I’d always wanted to.

What if I’d chosen to stay in Toronto? Who knows? There would have been different choices to make.

I have no regrets.

Let’s go back to the expression what if. Make choices based on your heart and ask yourself the question “what if I don’t” . Remember that it’s never too late.

Have you made a choice that you regretted later? Have you made one that was the right one?