I have always dreamt a lot. The stroke in 2005 resulted in poor balance and other limitations and as a result I use a walker. However, in my dreams, I rarely have a walker.

The following was one of the three or four dreams since 2005 in which I was using my walker.

I usually remember my feelings during and after a dream and several details of it. So when I woke up, I spent most of that day figuring out what it was teaching me. I think the overriding theme of it was control and the lack of it. I can’t take control of my health, my ability to do some physical things myself, the need for infusions every 2 weeks, and my ability to drive.

I didn’t want to dwell on the list of things I don’t control but I needed to think of them before I started to make a list of things I CAN control.

No one has control of everything.

Things happen. As the saying goes … “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. Why do so many people tell you to plan especially when you’re in business for yourself if planning doesn’t work?

Well it does. Write a plan, stick to it AND be flexible enough to change it when something unexpected happens.

But I digress. This article is about control and I don’t believe that one has it in life.  However, you CAN control how you react. I have had many personal experiences of this.

Examples

In the first year after the stroke in 2005, people often asked me if I ever thought “why me?”. I would answer ”maybe once for a few hours when I was in a rehabilitation hospital”. At the time I didn’t think this an unusual answer but I’ve learned since that many people who have strokes become depressed because they can’t do things they used to.

I’ve always believed that one can choose a positive or CAN DO attitude or depression or “why me?”.

Another example is driving which I can’t do any more. I choose to take taxis or to call friends to get a ride. That means planning AND asking for help.

You can choose how you will react and behave so you DO have control.

Here’s what I CAN control

• Much of what I eat

• Dressing – what I wear

• What I read – books, ebooks, emails, social media posts, blogs etc

• What I have around me in my apartment

• To whom I send cards

• The people I call or spend time with

• What I take photos of

• What time I go to sleep and then what time I get up etc…..

AND my reaction to the many things I can’t do because of the stroke and to the many things that happen to me.

You get the idea. I focus and give my limited energy to things I CAN control and not those I can’t.

What’s your opinion? What CAN you control in your life?